Release
by mabelreid
Summary: One shot set a few days after "Red Light." Emily and Spencer cross a line and going back is impossible. Rated M for language and a tiny bit of adult content.


_**Disclaimer: see my profile**_

 _ **A/n I'm not sure where this came from. I was watching "Extreme Aggressor over the weekend and thinking how different Reid is after 14 years. Also, his "Cell Block D," behavior in Hamlien stirred up the creative juices a bit and here we are. Again, as stated in the summary, this is rated M for language and a bit of adult content, more implied than show, you have been warned.**_

"Jesus, Spence, that was incredible."

Emily curled into Reid's left side while he lay on his back, his chest heaving from exertion. His entire body tingled and sweat beaded his forehead. He slid a hand up Emily's back and tangled it in her beautiful, dark hair. "Yeah," he said after a minute. "That was amazing."

"You okay?"

"Yes, why wouldn't I be," Spencer asked.

"Because you make love like – "

"Like a man just released from prison," Reid ended her thought.

"Well, yeah."

Spencer untangled from her and slipped out of bed. He reached for his pants and yanked them on. "How would you know?" He snapped. "You've no basis for comparison with me."

Emily sat up and glared at him, her dark eyes flashed with anger. "Fuck you, Spence. I'm not trying to smash your male ego."

"We did fuck," Reid shot back and reached for his shirt. "This was a mistake in more ways than one. I'm leaving."

"Go to hell," Emily picked up a pillow and threw it at him.

Spencer ducked it easily and turned his enraged eyes on her. "You're my boss, Emily. What did you think would happen, I'd profess my undying love?"

"No! Heaven knows you won't let _anyone_ past your carefully constructed walls."

Reid stopped in the act of buttoning his blue work shirt. "Why should I? Every time I do, my trust gets thrown back in my face. No more!"

"So, what, you're going to spend the rest of your life hiding from real feelings."

"Yes, why are you surprised? You _never_ loved me, Emily."

"That's not true."

"It is, and even if your feelings have changed, it doesn't matter for two very good reasons."

"Which are?"

"One, I don't love you like that. This was simply a physical release I needed after three months of forced celibacy."

"Was it," Emily said as her eyes turned dangerous. "I didn't realize you missed sex."

Spencer turned away from looking for his tie. "You _seriously_ thought I was a blushing virgin before we fell into bed. I'm close to forty. How long did you think I'd wait?"

"How the hell was I supposed to know?"

"You don't because it's none of your business who I fuck."

"If you're trying to make me hate you, you're doing a first-rate job, Spence."

"Good, because as I already reminded you, you're my boss, and we can't do this again. Ever. Do you get that?"

"Yes, I get it."

"Good. I'm out of here. Don't call me unless it's work-related. And Emily."

"What?"

"Stop calling me Spence. I'm Dr. Reid or Reid."

"Yes sir," Emily saluted him, and tears were gathering in her eyes. "Any other demands, Dr. Reid."

"No. Goodbye, Emily."

CMCMCMCMCMCMCM

Emily looked up from her paperwork when a familiar tap sounded on the door to her office. "Come in," she said, barely able to keep the tremor from her voice.

Reid stepped in and shut the door. "What's up," he said as he stood in front of her desk.

"Sit."

"Emily."

"Why are you angry with me, Sp – Sorry, Reid."

"Because you called me in here, like a kid in school."

"I need to talk to you, and you refuse to answer your phone and I didn't want to show up on your doorstep when your mother is there."

Reid sat, stiffly and stared at her out of eyes that held fathoms of pain and sorrow in their depths. "I told you I don't want to talk."

"We have to, if for no other reason than I'm your boss."

Reid suddenly laughed, and it was the laughter of a man teetering on the edge of an abyss. "You finally remembered that you're my UC. You weren't concerned about that last night."

"Neither were you," Emily pointed out, petulantly. "Reid, you know as well as I do that, we've been building up to this for years. I'm sorry it happened as a result of too much to drink, and your need for release after prison. I'm _not_ sorry it happened, regardless. I know you don't believe me, but I do care about you. I know you still love Maeve and I understand."

"Emily," Reid held up a hand. "I don't want to talk about Maeve."

"Alright, but we have to find a way around this, or one of us will have to leave the unit."

"I'm not going to HR if that's what you think," Reid said, contemptuously.

"No, I'm not afraid of a sexual misconduct report. I am afraid of losing my friend. Reid, I was terrified every day you spent behind bars. I prayed every morning and every night that I wouldn't get that phone call telling me you were dead."

Reid looked at the files on her desk instead of making eye contact. Finally, he sighed and met her eyes. "I'm sorry. I feel like my temper's on a hair trigger, all the time. I barely hold it together for my mom. I needed more than a sexual release, I needed and emotional and you were the most convenient target."

"How is your mother?"

"She's – I don't know, Emily. She's not my mother anymore. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I wish for her to return to her normal state of being, schizophrenia and all."

"I understand," Emily said and smiled for him. "I'm sorry I called you in here when you're supposed to be on leave."

"Why are you here? I thought we all had six weeks off?"

"We do. I have a ton of paperwork that hasn't to be signed off, and I can't leave without finishing it."

"Look, Emily. I am sorry for everything I said last night."

Emily smiled again. "So am I. I'm also sorry for losing my judgment, although I don't regret the result. You're amazing in bed, Spence."

Reid shrugged and smiled at her use of his nickname. "I have had other lovers Emily, but none of them were you."

"You know how to boost a girl's ego."

"It's true."

"Spence. One day you're going to find someone that will love you the way you deserve. You'll have kids and happy life."

"I'm not sure I believe in fairy tale endings anymore, Emily."

"I do," Emily assured him. "Are we still friends?"

Spencer stood, and Emily rose to her feet. He hugged her tight, and she could feel him tremble, but she stayed quiet until he released his hold on her. "Yes, we're still friends. He finally stepped back out of her space and smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "I need to get back to my mom."

"Go. I'll see you in a few weeks."

Spencer nodded and turned away. She watched him go to the door, then turn back. "Thanks for everything, Emily."

"You're welcome."

Reid left, and Emily stayed at her desk for another four hours and worked until she couldn't focus anymore. She stacked her completed files in her outbox and switched off her desk lamp. She sat in the dark and stared her office door until she knew she had to face the world.

"He's not coming back," she said to the darkness, and something tore at her soul until tears ran down her cheeks. "It's better this way."

Emily picked up her bag and left her office. She locked the door and went to the railing that overlooked the bullpen. She stared at Spencer's desk until an agent walked through the double glass doors. She jumped a little, then hurried to the elevator. Weeks away from this place and the constant reminder that she'd nearly destroyed a valued friendship, again, might save her sanity, but she wondered if it would save her heart.


End file.
